What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

In a message from Founded in Truth Fellowship, the speaker addresses the common feeling of being overwhelmed and unsure of what to do when facing life's difficulties. Acknowledging that many individuals experience hard times filled with stress related to family, work, finances, and loss, the teaching aims to provide guidance on navigating these challenges and holding onto hope.

Understanding Difficult Times

The speaker proposes a traditional explanation for the pervasiveness of these difficult times, connecting it to the period between Rosh Hashanah (Yom Teruah) and Yom Kippur. According to Psalms and Daniel, Rosh Hashanah is considered a day when "the gates are opened" and "the books of judgment are opened," with a verdict traditionally believed to be placed on every person. The subsequent ten days, known as the Days of Awe, are seen as a trial period leading up to Yom Kippur, the day when sin is atoned for.

Drawing an analogy to a courtroom, the teaching describes key players: God as the Judge, individuals as the defendant, and Satan as the prosecutor or accuser. The accuser's role is to highlight weaknesses and inconsistencies in one's life, spirituality, and relationships to influence the Judge. Scriptural references like Zechariah 3:1-2, Job 2:1-6, and Revelation 12:10 identify Satan as the "accuser of the brethren." This period is presented as a test where one's loyalty to God is examined, and weaknesses like lust, anxiety, lack of faith, or anger can be exploited. The speaker notes that conflicts in personal relationships often escalate during this time.

Finding Solutions in Scripture

To illustrate how to navigate such challenging times, the teaching references the story of the widow in 1 Kings 4:1-7. This widow, having lost her husband and facing debt that threatened to take her children into slavery, cried out to the prophet Elisha for help. Elisha instructed her to gather empty vessels and pour the little oil she had into them, resulting in a miracle where the oil multiplied to fill all the vessels, providing enough for her to pay her debts and live on the rest. This story emphasizes the importance of turning to God in desperation and utilizing even seemingly insignificant resources with faith. The "empty vessels" are interpreted as a need to let go of one's own inadequate solutions to allow God to fill the void with His solutions.

The message also explores an exchange between Jesus (Yeshua) and Simon Peter in Luke 22. When Satan demanded to sift Peter like wheat, Jesus prayed not for Peter's escape from the trial, but that his faith would endure. This highlights that God's focus may not always be on removing hardship but on strengthening our faith through it. Scriptures like Psalm 119:71 ("My suffering was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees") and Isaiah 48:10 ("I have refined you, but not as silver is refined; rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering") suggest that suffering can have a refining and focusing purpose in one's relationship with God.

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Responding Instead of Reacting to Conflict

A significant portion of the teaching focuses on how to handle conflicts, especially during these potentially stressful times. The distinction between reacting and responding is crucial. A reaction is described as originating from the subconscious "id," driven by instinct and triggered by emotions without thoughtful consideration. Examples include yelling at a child who breaks something or assuming intentional offense in minor interpersonal disagreements. Reactions are fueled by stress and lack logical thinking.

In contrast, a response originates from the conscious part of the brain (ego or superego), where triggers are buffered, and goals are considered. A response involves thinking through the situation, considering the desired outcome (reconciliation), and acting mindfully.

Techniques for Conflict Resolution

• Prioritize love over being "right." In a conflict, focus on making the other person feel loved rather than proving your point.
• Never defend yourself with "truth phrases" when accused. Phrases like "You shouldn't feel that way" invalidate the other person's feelings.
• If hurt, do not accuse; instead, ask for understanding. Instead of saying "It's your fault," ask them to explain their perspective.
• Forgive before engaging. Holding onto resentment will likely lead to an emotional reaction.
• Plead guilty to what you have been accused of; look for a place to agree. Acknowledging the other person's hurt can de-escalate the conflict.
• Be the first to surrender and apologize for the hurt caused. Saying "I am sorry that me saying that made you feel this way" can be powerful.
• Be willing to change; ask how you can act differently in the future. This shows commitment to the relationship.
• Do not be the fixer unless asked for advice. Unsolicited advice is often heard as criticism.
• Never accuse or find fault with your spouse or those in long-term relationships.
• Never go to bed angry; never withdraw, leave, or refuse to forgive. Forgiveness releases you from the pain of offenses.

The Power of Prayer

For situations that seem overwhelming or unsolvable, the ultimate recourse is prayer. When you don't know what to do, stop trying to control the situation and submit to God in prayer. This means going to a private place, getting on your hands and knees, and crying out to God with your burdens. Even without specific words, the act of submitting in prayer is powerful. The speaker challenges listeners to dedicate time to fervent prayer, especially during difficult times. Prayer is presented as a way to hold onto hope, knowing that God is still in control and can bring peace.

Application for Everyday Life

• When facing difficulties, remember that many others are also going through hard times.
• In challenging situations where you feel helpless, turn to God in sincere and persistent prayer.
• Focus on enduring trials through faith rather than seeking an immediate escape.
• When in conflict, consciously choose to respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally.
• Prioritize making others feel loved over proving yourself right in disagreements.
• Practice the provided conflict resolution techniques to foster reconciliation in your relationships.
• Be quick to forgive offenses to release yourself from pain and torment.
• When a loved one shares a problem, primarily listen and offer support rather than immediately trying to fix it.
• In moments of uncertainty, trust in God's control and petition Him for peace and guidance.

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